My story is about a young woman going shopping for shoes. She goes to LadyFootlocker and finds her perfect shoes, while she is there she get her feet measured. Then she buys her perfect shoes.
Very original idea to do a shopping trip. I like how you had the store employee in on the act. Photos were very easy to follow and made it obvious what was going on.
It was not until shot 4 that I knew who to follow. In shot 1, it is not obvious that the girl is an employee. In shot 2 I can't see the customer's face. You are jumping the 180 line between shot 3 and 4. In 3 she is on the left side of frame and then she jumps to the right in frame 4. There are 2 shots of her checking out the shoes in the mirror. They are too similar. Either go for a tighter shot of the shoe, the woman's reaction to the shoe or cut 1 shot. When she is paying I want to see the shoes on the counter to drive home that she's buying them. In the last shot, I'd love to see a payoff of her enjoying her shoes in a new location, like at the park or the gym. All of these things would help make the story stronger and more clear. I do love your documentary style and how you photographed the entire process from start to finish.
I liked that we broke away for a moment to follow the clerk back to pick up the shoe box from the shelf. In a video I think it might have been nice to see us cut back from that for a moment to see what the shopper does as she's waiting (does she pull out her phone, or watch other shoppers, etc.)
I think you answered the assignment in a way that seemed linear and gave a good sense of exactly what was going on without any written explanation necessary. It was pretty cool that you went into a storefront and accomplished the assignment with the employee and customer cooperating. I am wanting to feel something more but what to feel about buying shoes? lol...I think the credit card and the register shot was a nice capture too.
Very original idea to do a shopping trip. I like how you had the store employee in on the act. Photos were very easy to follow and made it obvious what was going on.
ReplyDeleteIt was not until shot 4 that I knew who to follow. In shot 1, it is not obvious that the girl is an employee. In shot 2 I can't see the customer's face. You are jumping the 180 line between shot 3 and 4. In 3 she is on the left side of frame and then she jumps to the right in frame 4. There are 2 shots of her checking out the shoes in the mirror. They are too similar. Either go for a tighter shot of the shoe, the woman's reaction to the shoe or cut 1 shot. When she is paying I want to see the shoes on the counter to drive home that she's buying them. In the last shot, I'd love to see a payoff of her enjoying her shoes in a new location, like at the park or the gym. All of these things would help make the story stronger and more clear. I do love your documentary style and how you photographed the entire process from start to finish.
ReplyDeleteI liked that we broke away for a moment to follow the clerk back to pick up the shoe box from the shelf. In a video I think it might have been nice to see us cut back from that for a moment to see what the shopper does as she's waiting (does she pull out her phone, or watch other shoppers, etc.)
ReplyDeleteI think you answered the assignment in a way that seemed linear and gave a good sense of exactly what was going on without any written explanation necessary. It was pretty cool that you went into a storefront and accomplished the assignment with the employee and customer cooperating. I am wanting to feel something more but what to feel about buying shoes? lol...I think the credit card and the register shot was a nice capture too.
ReplyDelete